Fine, fine, fine - I admit defeat. It's only justifiable that I accept defeat gracefully since I personally embodified bravado in the few days leading up to that AFC East clash last night. I admit, I did nothing but talk, basically, massive shi- the entire time. Not only that, but I was so surefire of a win. All the signs were there. I had a good luck blessing on my drive up North when a plane flies directly over my car when I drive by the airport (I consider this to always be a good sign) - my fantasy team was getting blown out of the water (the past 2 and so seasons, there's a distinct correlation between fantasy team losing and Jets winning, or vice versa) - Jets were looking good, Fins had only beaten the Bills - etc. Alas! What ends up happening? The New York defense fails to show up to the game. No turnovers, sacks, and few stops on 3rd down. The Jets offense, ironically, much maligned in the game versus N'Awlins last week, came to play - the addition of Braylon Edwards seems to be the real deal. I don't feel particularly inclined to talk about the details of the game, however; I'm sure most of you witnessed it first hand. What I thoroughly enjoyed, however, was the experience of being at an NFL game, since it was my first one. From the nonstop heckling for the better part of 4-5 hours, the getting hyped over each Jets play and the disappointment over every Miami success - to watching a random fan get strangled or another judo kicked in the chest - to being styled on by an 8 year old Dolfan in front of me who would turn around to me and utter, "What happened?" whenever the Fins made a play - it was all worth it. Never mind the fact I went with three diehard Dolphins fans and met up with one of my closest peoples (she is also, ironically, a Dolfan) there. That's already supposed to be enjoyable. But you all have to admit. It would NEVER be as enjoyable if I was a Dolphins fans like the rest of you. Hahaha. But in any case, I'm looking forward to that rematch on November 1st. Well done, Miami. (...jackasses.) But best believe I'm loyal to New York, crushing loss or not.
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Moving on - I need some suggestions regarding costumes for All Hallows' Eve - and I've narrowed it down to the following four choices - which one would you recommend I choose?
1. Gomez Addams - If you know the show, you would know I embody many of his characteristics. I'd have to practice the Freddy dance, though.
2. Rorschach - I'd have to practice my Jackie Earl Haley voice, but I've been wanting to do this one, despite the fact that I'm sure it's going to be this year's Joker. But the mask is an impediment to beverage drinking. But it's such a damn nice mask.
3. Original Red Power Ranger - Oh come on. This is the best costume ever. This is the one I've really wanted to find in my size. But they're all too short. But the helmet is the selling point here.
4. Jigsaw - Simply because I could freak mad people out with that mask. That mask still freaks me out. I can also say, "Let's play a game" perfectly - and as much as I would LOVE to ride around in a little red tricycle, it doesn't seem practical.
So give me a hand (Ha! Addams family joke) - I have about two and a 'heif' weeks left. They'd all cost around the same, sub-$50, so that's not a factor.
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Last but not least, I've been meaning to set about once and for all to publish an international guide for the rules of shotgun - as in, who gets front passenger seat in a vehicle when one is not the driver (/no Kurt Cobain). As a frequent driver and infrequent passenger, I believe I've been able to create a set of guidelines that, for the most part, should be universally agreeable:
1. Automatic shotgun is bequeathed for significant other/bf/gf/spouse of the driver. In this case, shotgun can never be called by any other party. It's just how it is.
2. Height. If there are no significant others present, then the next automatic shotgun spot is given to the party member that has a significant advantage in height. The discrepancy is 3" and a minimum height of 6'-1". Need leg room, you know. Under this height limit, it makes no difference.
3. Friendship. Yes, there's a hierarchy to these things. Following height order, closest friends are next. They can occasionally take precedence over a taller friend, but these are on an individual basis.
4. After these, shotgun is on a first come, first served basis. Shotgun can only be called within sight of the vehicle, and cannot be contested following this. The shotgun cycle resets following each exit from the vehicle, and must be re-called from then on.
5. People you are talking to. This one is particularly difficult to regularize. Male friends of a male driver who know that he has a woman that he is talking to come along are not required to give up their seat, but it is recommended. Male friends of a female driver are under no circumstances to give up their seat to some guy she might be talking to. He has to earn that. Female friends of a male driver have it up to their own discretion to switch their seat, the male driver cannot force a female friend to give up her seat. Likewise, female friends of a female driver are under no pressure to give up their seat, but the female driver can request it.
6. Males over 5'-11" should never have to ride bitch (middle seat of back row) EVER. It's a safety issue.
Just thought I'd get that clear to prevent future instances of miscommunication. And I leave you with this hilarious GIF from the movie Predator - well, combined with Duck Hunt. Cracks me up every time.
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